Soon after we set out, Kuluk shot an eider drake that was sitting on the water. Once we had sailed up to the body, he reached overboard with a long stick to which a large fishing hook had been tied to grab the bird and said 'Are you sure you're not scared? It's bleeding.' Resisting the urge to roll my eyes at him, I told him (again) that no, I was not scared. 'Ok. Get that plastic bag and hold it open.' I did as I was told, and Kuluk dumped the drake into the bag, before taking the bag with his free hand and throwing it behind one of the front seats of the boat. 'Those birds are especially delicious' he informed me.
We sailed up to the edge of the sea ice, and after scanning it with enormous binoculars for a few moments, Kuluk announced that he could see a seal. He passed the binoculars to his cousin, who agreed with him and then handed the binoculars to me. I looked where he pointed and saw nothing but ice and the base of the mountains, but I nodded and gave the binoculars back. William then got into what appeared to be one of those white paper 'CSI suits' (for camouflage). After testing the ice with a large, metal-pointed wooden stick, he jumped out of the boat and Kuluk passed him a rifle. He set off across the ice, testing it with the stick before every step.
Kuluk said that it would probably be an hour before William made it across the ice to the seal, shot it and brought it back to the boat, so he sailed away to see if he could shoot any more eider. Several times, a group of three or four birds flew near the boat and Kuluk took aim with a shotgun, but he did not succeed in killing any.
When we returned to the ice, William was waiting for us without a seal. It had noticed him and gone down through a hole in the ice, and although he had waited for it, it didn't come back up. A short while later Kuluk shot at a seal bobbing and down in the water, but he missed.
We sailed round to a different piece of sea ice, and once again William got out of the boat to try and shoot it. The seal was much closer this time, so Kuluk stayed at the edge of the ice to wait for him. We saw William lie down to shoot, then heard the shot, but as he did not stand up we assumed he had missed, the seal had gone down through its hole and he was hoping it would come back up soon. Kuluk instructed me to stand up and keep a watch for the seal from the back of the boat while he looked out at the front, in case the seal swam under the ice and came up in the water near the boat. 'And take your life jacket off', he said. 'Seals are afraid of red.' Neither he nor William had been wearing a life jacket, but Kuluk had given one to me because 'the tourists get scared without one.'
While William still lay on the ice waiting for the seal to reappear, it stuck its head out of the water close to a small ice floe, a short distance from the boat. Kuluk carefully sailed up to the ice, climbed out and said 'Pass me the gun. The small gun.' I growled something under my breath about knowing the difference between a shotgun and a rifle, and passed him the gun. He shot the seal, and when he had sailed close enough to the body to reach it I had already retrieved the hook stick from where it was kept. He thanked me, and heaved the body onto the back of the boat. It was a ringed seal. 'There are two types of seal in this fjord, and this is the tastier one. But it is smaller.', said Kuluk.
Because the seal was shot in the water, the blood billowed into a huge cloud, making it readily apparent why seals are afraid of red. Kuluk tied the hind flippers together with a type of noose, then tied the tail of the noose onto another piece of rope secured to the boat. He looked over at the ice and said 'William hasn't noticed us getting the seal. He's still waiting for it to come back. When he comes back to the boat, don't say anything, and I'll say we didn't see the seal come back up.'
William continued to lie in wait on the ice for about ten minutes, then came back to the boat looking crestfallen. He sat down without noticing the seal carcass, and once he was in his seat there was no way he could see it. Eventually he stood up and turned around, looking for seals in the water. He must have seen the seal at that point, because he started to laugh, as did Kuluk and I.
Later, William saw another ringed seal in the water, which he shot from the boat and tied to the back in the same way that Kuluk had done. At about half nine, after roughly six hours on the water, Kuluk announced that he was getting cold and we were sailing back now. However, not long after that he saw a seal quite far away in the water. We sailed nearer to it, navigating through many small ice floes, some of which scraped against the boat. 'Hey, this is like that movie with a boat in it', Kuluk remarked. When we had at last got close enough to the seal to shoot, Kuluk missed. On our journey back through the ice to the harbour, Kuluk received a text from Jóhanna inviting him and me to eat with her at the hostel, as she had bought and was cooking a halibut. If I wanted to eat it I had to pitch in 50 DKK (5 GBP) for my share, while Kuluk said he would thank her and pay by giving her the eider he had shot.
The meal was delicious. The soundtrack to the meal was My Head is an Animal by the Icelandic band of Monsters and Men. On repeat. I am linking you this song in particular (http://tinyurl.com/na6zfqs) so that you can listen and have it stuck in your head until the end of time, just like I have to.